on cars, faith, and trust

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”
Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Oh. My.  In some ways I’m glad this past weekend is over, and in others I’m not.

It all started innocuously enough.  I got up early on Saturday ( i know…who does that?), wrote a piece for the blog and then headed off at 7:30 to go trail walking with a friend.  Simple. Lovely. My head full of plans of what had to be done, shopping for birthday presents for my little niece and nephew, maybe buy myself a new pair of jeans, and so forth.  My head was preoccupied with all manner of things, when….what was that noise? My car made this weird noise it had never made before, but after traveling a block the noise went away and I thought nothing more of it.  At least not until I got most of the way to the park where I was to meet up with a friend, and there’s mass quantities of smoke coming out from under the hood on the right hand side.  That’s not good.  I babied it until I got to the park as the road I was on was a major one and I felt the need to be somewhere safe.  I parked, popped the hood and there was moisture and wet, and all manner of steam, and all sorts of nastiness under there.  So I did what any self-respecting wife would do and I phoned my still sleeping husband.  Poor guy.  I felt really bad, but what was a girl to do?!  Not much apparently, as I was told to go on my walk/hike and he would be there shortly.  Okay. He didn’t freak out, that’s got to be a good thing right?

So I walked, for an hour on the park trails and when I was done, there he was on the phone.  Uh Oh.  He couldn’t fix it that could only mean that he’s calling for a tow.  Could that mean that the car actually died? I hope not.  How am I going to get to work on Monday? How are we going to be able to get to the birthday party in Abbotsford the next day? How was I to get my shopping done? This can’t be good.  Here we were just starting to get caught up on our bills, since Hubby was finally working somewhat steady again, and this happens?? NOOOOOOOOO! A dramatic moment of falling to my knees and fist shaking in the sky is happening now in my mind.  This can’t be happening.  It just can’t. But, apparently it is.  And things now compound; no extension given so that we can rent a car, the rental house we use isn’t answering their phone, and the daunting cost of a tow all add to the sense of impending doom forming in my mind.  Now the tears threaten.  Yeah, I went all girlie…like tears are going to help.  Suck it up Chele. This isn’t the end of the world.  Self talk was so not helping.

In the end we ended up waking up a friend of ours who drives for a towing company.  Yeah, I woke someone else up on that glorious Saturday morning…we’re two for two now.  The thought was that maybe he had taken his work truck home and he could maybe just zip on over, and tow me to the garage…pretty please.  No, his truck was in the yard…in Richmond.  Deep breath Chele, deep breath.  Don’t panic.  “Okay, no problem, sorry for waking you.”  “No, no,” says he, “I can go to the yard and get the truck and come and get you and the car.”  “Honestly? Really?  Okay, that’d be really nice, but you don’t have to.” You know how those conversations go right? Part of you cringes and the other part is desperately reaching for what you need. Ugh.  It took about and hour and a half before we saw him pull into the parking lot, but at least we had the comfort of knowing the operator and of knowing that he’ll do things right.  It is now 11 and I’m cold, hungry and being shooed out of the way by two big burly guys.  Yup, feeling a wee bit useless right now.

Okay, car’s hooked up and we are on our way.  As luck would have it (or God), shortly after we pulled in to the garage parking lot, the owner pulls in.  The garage is closed on weekends, so he is usually not there, but today, for whatever reason, he showed up.  He took a quick look at it and lets us know that he thinks its the bearing for the water pump that went.  Hope that’s all it is.  We recently(ish) had the water pump done  so the thought is that it could possibly be fixed under warranty.  Please God, please let it be warranty work, that would be ever so helpful.

Car now safely ensconced at the “hospital” we head off for something to eat as neither of us had yet eaten anything and I post this to Facebook, “Car died, feel like crying”.  Little did I know how many would see that and either comment on it or call me.  I felt carried, yet I also felt a little reproach in the back of my mind, a reproach that came from God. The conversation went a little like this: “I said I would take care of you. Haven’t I always done that? When will you learn to trust me?”  “Yeah, I know.” “I know, you know; I need you to do it. To step out in faith. You’ve done it before, what makes today so different?” “PMS??” “Nice try.” Yeah…think parent to sullen teenager.

That night we went to church and to enter into true worship was really hard for me.  I actually, for the first time an a very long time. just wanted to go home and curl up in bed with a book instead of being in the house of God.  My day had been stressful, and I just wanted it over with. The thing is that, the more I honestly tried to enter into God’s presence, with the desire for His presence, the easier it became to worship so that by the end I didn’t want worship to be over. My pastor then preached on the power of words, and walking in your God-given authority.  Okay, okay, I get it…maybe.  The power of our words, especially the spoken ones is incredible.  They are weapons, they create, and most importantly they hold our faith and release God’s power here on earth.  How incredible is that?  The message, at once, both convicted me and empowered me. The day just sort of fell away and I could get a grip on myself again and let God deal with the situation.  It was a struggle of laying down what I saw, and seeing what God could do through it. I could choose to keep seeing the doom and gloom or I could speak good things about and into it and put my faith out there with my words to back it up.  Things came to mind like Psalm 27:13 “Yet I am confident I will see the Lord ‘s goodness while I am here in the land of the living”; and Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

So…here we go,  stepping out with renewed faith, and with the reminder that “we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Rom 8:28)  As for the car…we’ll find out more today.

Comments

  1. Any word yet on the car? I’m grateful you felt carried and loved on … thank heavens for facebook status updates.

    You are rocking the challenge, by the way. xo

    • thank you for your encouraging words.
      “Betsy will live on. It was the water pump and unfortunately it couldn’t be repaired under warranty.

  2. Love your honesty about walking through a sucky situation. Thank you for sharing the challenge of taking steps of faith. I loved the little conversation you had with God…”I got up early on Saturday ( i know…who does that?), wrote a piece for the blog” A WRITER gets up early to write for the blog! I’m with Idelette – you totally are rocking the challenge! 🙂

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