on when a smooch becomes a cuff

A few weekends ago was the Victoria Day long weekend here in B.C.  In my family, this traditionally heralds the inaugural trip to Green Lake to prep the cabin &/or trailer for the summer. It is looked forward to with much anticipation, at least on my part, as it marks the beginning of the season of family coming from all corners & just being together. These are family members that we only ever get to see in person a few times a year, some only once. We are scattered from Fort McMurray to Bowden; from Surrey to 100 Mile House; and several places in between. We are a large, boisterous group who love, tease, & argue with equal fervor.

The majority of my beloved extended family I will see at the lake in August; but this weekend, THIS weekend, I would see all but one member of my immediate family & it excited me to know that I would be able to spend some time with my parents, my two sisters who live so far from me, as well as my brother & a few other extended family members (like in-laws and nephews and nieces). If you recall from my last post, THIS weekend was going to be my smooch from God & I was ready for it.  ‘Lay it on me God!’

Ever had an event that you sooo looked forward to & yet, once you were in the midst of it, it felt quite a bit different than you thought?  Yeah. About that….

Now don’t get me wrong, the trip and the time spent with my family was fantastic!  No really, it was.  What I was unprepared for was MY reaction to seeing my sister & her husband in their ‘new’ bodies.  You see, they’ve been on a journey for the past 6 months or so to get more fit and to lose weight.  A journey that I have been cheering on from afar for months. A journey that I celebrated even as I struggled with my own weight loss.  I was, however, unprepared for the envy & the internal pity party that happened once I got to spend some extended time with them.  How sad is that?!  Maybe it came from always having been the smaller sister ( in more ways than one).  As I said to my mom, “I guess I’m the fat sister now”.  Yeah…full-on pity party.  NOT pretty.

After coming home and I had some time to think on think on it. At first I was kinda ticked thinking that I didn’t get my smooch, I didn’t have any rough spot smoothed – in fact it felt like the opposite had happened. I felt gypped. But then came the realization that sometimes ‘The Smooch”, that loving gesture of affection, can also take the form of a cuff to the head.  It was time for a check up from the neck up. Time to examine motives, feelings, and decide to endeavor to do better.

Just like a parent who loves their children will discipline them, God will discipline us.  Sometimes gently, sometimes with more vigor. This weekend, I got disciplined…a somewhat gentle cuff upside the head, and a “What’re doing girl? Get your head out of the sand and do what you know needs to be done”. This was not what I expected, but it was needed.  I tend to get de-railed rather easily when it comes to my fitness and my eating. I get easily discouraged when the scale doesn’t show me what I want it to.   I tend put off what I perceive as the hard stuff; you know the stuff that makes you break out in a cold sweat or at the very least makes you uncomfortable.

So…this is me trying to stay on track, to stop letting the little things de-rail me.  I’ll need your help friends.  Life is meant to be done in community and to help keep me on track I need my community to push and pull me along the right track.

 

Comments

  1. I’m with you dear friend, ready to keep on track and push and pill you along the right track, when you need me to .. xoxo

    • thank you vivian. just don’t push/pull too hard…I’m a delicate creature you know…lol! Seriously though, I so appreciate your encouragement. hugs!

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