on early morning writing, grad and letting go

Where to start…where to start….  I know, COFFEE!!!  Be right back….

Okay, coffee cup is filled, house is sleeping (even the dogs), and I’m in front of my computer (yes, its turned on); now it’s time to write. But what?

I’m feeling the sluggish cogs of my brain slowly grinding away, clanking every now and again, stuttering, groaning.  Oh help!  I look around and see all that has to be done, yet here I sit wracking my half asleep brain for something to say.

All I can think of right now is my niece’s grade 12 convocation that will take place tonight.  My beautiful niece, Jade, who, along with her mom, have been through so very much in the past 2 years.  I’ve watched her grow up, play, do homework, work, and love on the people she holds dear.  She has a wicked sense of humor and I love to hear her giggle madly with her cousins when she comes to sleep over. She has a big beautiful heart.  Yes, its been bruised & torn along life’s trail these past 17 years, but it has emerged strong, and lovely. She is like one of my own.

This past Friday was her prom.  Oh, my heart, she was stunning.  My auntie’s heart swelled with pride as I saw her in all her refinery.  My thought was, “if this is how I feel when my niece graduates, I’m gonna be a basket case when my own daughter grads next summer”. Oh Lord.  Even now as I write this, tears threaten. Not bad tears, the good kind.  She’s all grown up…how’d that happen? and so fast.  I’m not ready for this….okay I am, but I’m not, you know what I mean?

 

Then there’s the whole, planning for my own daughter’s grade 12 year.  Be still my heart.  Grade 12.  Didn’t I just bring her home?  She is another of life’s beautiful people (if I do say so myself).  Her heart is as big as the outdoors, and hangs from her sleeve (a fact that worries me at times). She mentors at school those that are in tough places, like the grade 8 girl who found herself pregnant, injustice (real or perceived) is one of her hot buttons, and she calls everyone (okay, almost everyone) a friend. She teaches the preschool children at church, and sings in the worship band for the youth services. Do I dare unleash her on the world in all her glory?  Part of me wants to stop time, to hold onto her, wrap her in cotton, and keep her so very, very safe.  My baby, my firstborn. (okay, now I’m crying).  But I know that that is unrealistic.  She’ll have to make her own way in this world, and  mark her own path. Hopefully we’ve instilled enough in her that she’ll make wise choices, for the most part, and keep God at the center of all that she does.

 

(Deep Breath)  Grade 12.  Not prepared for it, but here it comes.

Lord,

Keep my babies in your hands, even as they leave mine, keep them safe.  Become a very real presence to them, not only in times of trouble, but in the good times too.  Let them know, despite arguments, misunderstanding, and discipline, that we love them, and that you love them even more.  Help them to pursue wisdom, love, kindness, peace, and gentleness.

Thanks.

Luv,  Me

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

 

Comments

  1. Catherine says:

    Beautiful writing. Stirring, moving, wonderful. You are a writer!

  2. Beautiful, Mama Michele. I feel ya.

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