It’s Friday and the sun is shining…doesn’t get much better than that. For the past few weeks we’ve had nothing but overcast skies and rain, not so fun if it’s June and you’re expecting sunshine. But, hey, it’s shining now; best take advantage of it while we can.
Sunshine, most people love it and everyone needs it to some degree. Songs have been sung about it and some even worship it. Me? I have a love/hate thing going on with it. I appreciate the warmth it brings, the health it brings, but unfortunately my skin doesn’t seem to want to play nice with it…in short, I burn. I pack a 55 (or stronger) sunscreen in my purse for when I am driving, and I tend to hide out in the shade, or inside for most of the summer. I have, unlike most people I know, dreaded the onset of summer for years and have garnered my fair share of strange looks because of that.
This year, somehow feels different. From the very outset of 2012 I have found myself in a very different head space about the year and it’s seasons and am at a loss to explain the why of it. The first 3 months of the year I usually have this kind of dark shadow that casts a pall over them & life, until about March, or sometimes, April. This year? It wasn’t there. It wasn’t something that I did or took that made the difference. Not sure what happened, but it was kind of like having a switch turned on, or off; it just wasn’t there. The weird thing was, that it was noticeable right away, at least by myself. Like a blanket that was torn away.
The same thing seems to be happening with summer. The dread is not there and I find myself rejoicing with everyone else when the sun comes out. I’ll be interested to see if this continues through out the summer. Yes, I’ll still be using the industrial strength sunscreen, you know, the one that is just short of zinc oxide, but the dread is gone. It’s a very odd sensation as this mind set was a constant companion of mine for years. You see, I have been slowly losing my pigment now for over 20 years and it has caused me to hide from the sun. If I get any sort of a tan I look a bit like a pinto due to the splotches of albino white skin that march across my body. So I hide, which seems to make the general feeling about the season worse. This summer may find me outdoors more, or not, but the fact still remains that I am feeling free of the darkness that has so plagued me.
Maybe, this is God’s way of telling me to stop hiding. To make me step out and believe that ALL things are possible. To help me see what He sees. To rejoice in ALL seasons, after all He created them, so enjoy them…ALL of them. Maybe…just maybe…this summer will mark a time of healing, of stepping out, of provision, of thanksgiving…maybe. I am left feeling tender, and hopeful, with the words of Psalm 103 ringing in my head, “Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.”