As some of you may know (or not), I got to spend the Thanksgiving holiday visiting my sister in Alberta, a some 13 hour drive from home. It was planned as a surprise, and it was executed flawlessly.
The trip up was interrupted with stops in Kamloops, Salmon Arm and Craigellachie, where the last spike was driven during the construction of the CP Railroad. The road home featured stops in Banff, and Lake Louise. I’ll post pictures as soon as I find my card reader…I’m sure I put it somewhere safe, I just have to remember where (sigh).
Since my sister lives in a mobile home on what is a campground, my family rented a small cabin to sleep in. The cabin was a typical camp cabin that featured bunkbeds and so for the first time in 20 or so years, I ended up sleeping in a single bed, sans husband. Actually hubby and I weren’t even in the same room as he had to sleep in the front room where the only plug was due to his CPAP machine. Took a little getting used to not having him to snuggle up to.
We had a big weekend, that not only included dinner for 11, but also an insulin pump malfunction (my sister is a diabetic), and a trip to the local emergency for my son’s non-stop nose bleed. Lots of emotion, lots of love, lots of prayer. Praise God the pump was able to be replaced within hours and the nose bleed ended up being the result of the dry Alberta air.
Saying good-bye was harder than I thought. We decided to pack up the truck Sunday night so that all was ready to go come morning, so our farewells had to take place before we headed off to our cabin for the night. As I hugged my sister, I felt the emotion bubble up and had to make haste out of the door before I lost my composure. I didn’t want to make good-bye harder than it already was by breaking down in front of her. My chest hurt and my eyes stung. I kept quiet not wanting to deal with sad faces and more hugs, which would’ve made me completely lose it.
While I lay in my bed that night trying to get to sleep, my entire family already sleeping peacefully, I could hold it in no longer. The dam broke and I quietly wept into my pillow. Why did saying good-bye have to feel like this? Even now, as I type this, my throat aches. I love my family and I hate the physical distance that is there.
Perhaps that is how God feels when we distance ourselves from him. I wonder, if in that moment, His throat aches, His eyes well up, and if His heart feels like it is being squeezed. Does he weep in his sleeve when no one else is looking? I wonder.