Last week’s post was harder to write than I thought it would be. It seemed all so straight forward yet, the process of putting down ‘on paper’ was a difficult one.
As I thought about what had occurred I remembered a picture (if you will) that had come to me while I was engaged in soaking prayer. This picture came to me right in the middle of all my confusion, angst, and fear.
In this picture I was running; running hard. Behind me, also running, was Jesus. I’m not sure if I was running to something or running from something, I was just running. At a certain moment I just stop and look behind me. He catches up to me and also stops. Then, He held out his hand, palm up and says, “Do you trust me?”
I looked at that hand, so benign, worn and calloused (He was a carpenter after all). I felt myself struggle internally, ‘Do I?’
At first blush, as a Christian, my default is to say, ‘Yes, f course I do”. Yet in that place I really had think about it. All my cares and worries then seemed to rise up and threatened to choke me. “Do I?”
As I watch, my hand tentatively extended, slowly, cautiously; pulling back time and time again. After what seemed like hours, my hand rested in His, and His fingers enclosed mine. Then He gently started to pull me close.
Part of me panicked, and I start to dig in my heels a bit.
“Do you trust Me?”
Small stumbling steps at a time I am drawn inexorably closer, until finally He can enfold me is His arms, still asking gently, “Do you trust me?”
“I’m scared” (insert the ugly cry here)
“Shhhhh. It’s okay. I’ve got you. I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I rested there, my head on His chest, sobbing. His strong arms never let go, and we stood there, gently swaying.
I’ve had time to process things a bit and each time I think on that picture I still get choked up.
In some way we all struggle to put our hand in His and let Him take the lead, let Him carry the load. It takes a massive amount of trust on our part. ‘Let Go and Let God’ at times sounds so trite, but that is exactly what we need to do.
Like Elijah in II Samuel we find that times it is so easy to trust and watch what God can and will do, and other times where we find ourselves scared and hiding in caves, worried about life and how we’ll survive.
If we are brave enough to allow God to take the lead, despite not always understanding the where, and the how, like Elijah in the desert, we will find our needs met in unexplainable ways.
So my friends, can I encourage you today to trust your cares to our Father in Heaven? When life gets rough, remember that He is there with you, ready to carry, ready to fight, and ready to dry your tears.
Hugs my friends.