Oh Help

Today finds me feeling raw. Tears have threatened at the most inopportune times.

It seems the harder I try to control my emotions, the more they threaten to break free. How unfair is that?!

You see, yesterday I spent the majority of my day doing laundry. No big deal right? Wrong. The purpose, other than needing clean clothes, was to prep Hubby for his overseas trip. A trip that will take him to the other side of the world (Russia) for 7 weeks.

This trip has been in the works for many months, as visas, international driver licences, bank deposits, etc. all had to be arranged.

This isn’t the first time he’s worked out of town, but it is the first time we’ve such a huge lead up to it, and it is the furthest away from home he’s gone for work.  In the past (a quite distant one at that) we would’ve gotten maybe a week’s notice and off he’d go. No room to fret or fume, it was just do. Have I mentioned before that I’m a bit of a fretter??

The laundry piece just made it all so real, so imminent. Before I could kind of ignore it. There’s no ignoring it now. There’s a whole check list of last minute items that have to be dealt with, within the next 3 days. Just the thought has me panicking a little as he has to bring everything he’s going to need for the next month and a half with him.

Oh Help.

I guess I said all that to say, I’m going to miss him terribly. The bed will feel too empty without him. Just the thought of being without him, even for this short duration, has me tearing up and my throat closing.

This is me, learning to let go of my worries about what may or may not happen while he is away. This is me learning to not let my fears and concerns hold Hubby back from a God given opportunity.

Oh God,

Keep him safe, whole. Keep him in your arms, your care. Bless this opportunity. And bring him home full of vision, memories, and a sense of being 100% carried.

Amen.

Comments

  1. I am so with you…your writing inspires and moves me…being authentic and transparent isn’t easy for you but more people will love you and your writing because you are so raw and out there…I’m here

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