Okay, it’s been a month instead of weekly, my bad, but here I am trying to write again.
I’ve been kicking myself a bit for letting the voices in my head, you know the self talk (or bashing, that we do so well) as well as the voices of those around me determine how, what or if I’m to write, or even do for that matter.
When did I start acting like Saul??
For those of you that are unfamiliar with him he was the first king of Israel according to the book of I Samuel in the bible. Saul was chosen by God to do something very specific – lead the people of Israel. Unfortunately Saul worried a lot about what other people thought and that led him to make a several errors in judgement that cost him not only his throne but also, in way, his sanity and his life.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going insane, having uncontrollable rage, or thinking of dying. Really. What I’m getting at is those moments when we don’t know what to do and those pesky inner voices start making a racket and they only serve to compound the issue at hand. Some of those voices sound like the people around you, some of them sound like people from your past: teachers, parents, and the like; and the rest, well they sound a little (or a lot) like yourself when you’re down and out.
Am I right?
I know I am because I’ve been there and let them take over for a period of time. The voices that discourage, the voices that say you’ve got nothing of worth to contribute, the voices that say you should spend your time doing something else. These voices start swirling around in your head until you find yourself in the middle of a class 3 hurricane and all you want to do is duck and take cover. It immobilizes you.
Here’s the thing though, neither you nor I, need to worry about the storm. Seriously. We don’t.
If you listen to the storm, you’ll hear something that is easily missed if you’re not looking for it.
It’s a quiet little voice. A gentle one. And if we but let it, if we but tune into it, all the other voices seem to quiet down as it gets louder, clearer.
“Peace. Be Still.”
It’s the voice of Jesus, able to calm any storm.
And before you, or I, start kicking ourselves for not going to him first and starting another round of gale force winds, He comes back with, “I don’t condemn you. Go and sin no more” (John 8:10-11, NLT)